If you are wondering what this is all about, let me elaborate. This is a page from India Today Woman, a magazine that promises to make a difference to the lives of the urban Indian woman. In all , there were 5 famous freedom fighters featured in a box running down the left of the page, Sarojini Naidu, Rosa Parks, Aruna Asaf Ali and the two you can see here- Capt.Laxmi Sehgal and Maude Gonne of Ireland. And on the right is this feature titled 'Singledom Laws' by one Gunjeet Sra! I'll reproduce her words of wisdom for you since the repro on the left is not clear.
1. Have an envious career and a body that is well sculpted.
2. Own something that is ridiculously expensive and of no relative utility.
3. Invest your energy and time in mastering a signature lingerie style.
4. Go on a vacation to an exotic locale and make sure you do it all by yourself.
5. Have group therapists in the form of your go-to girls aka your soul sisters.
6. Start a pampering ritual that a change in your relationship status cannot disturb.
7. Learn to change your car tyre and hone your drilling(sic) skills while at it.
8. Throw wild, crazy parties that leave you hung over. Once you are committed, life does get a little staid.
The writer is part of the editorial team of the magazine and I am sure she knows what she is talking about. But do you?. Ladies, what do you think? Do you believe mastering a signature lingerie style will help you to survive singledom? Or owning something that is ridiculously expensive but of no relative utility? To think that publishing houses get newsprint subsidised by the govt. with the tax payers money, to be filled with such hogwash, such stinking horse-shit. Take a second look at her sermon : "Once you are committed, life does get a little staid." So what should a single girl do? Get laid by a different guy every day? This is precisely the kind of mindset that keep landing women back to where they started. Can't you think of anything better than lingerie, spas, your body and wild parties???? No wonder men think of women as objects of desire and nothing more. That is the stereotype you snugly fit into. That is the image of feminity that you unwittingly perpetuate with your silly posturing. 'Signature lingerie', my FOOT!
And they had the temerity to put these perverted ideas of a sick mind next to the images of women who have sacrificed their lives for great causes! How crass can you get?

Grounded High Fliers

The airlines tycoons threatning to go on strike shows when push comes to shove the capitalist( with a capital C, if I may add) and the proletariet behave in uncannily similar ways. Isn't 'strike' a dirty word in your world Mr. Mallya and Mr. Goyal? Strikes are not always the last resort of the beaten and bruised, it seems. Sometimes it is the first resort of the polished and the pampered too, as is evident here. It is good that for once the Govt. acted sensibly, at least for the time being, and refused to give in to their bail-out demands. They are in a high stakes business, raking in millions when the going was good. It is only fair that they feel the pinch now that it has got tough. They have had too many things doled out to them on a platter for too long. In the open-skies policy, which they had been milking dry by every means possible, it is only right that they suffer when others have hit the dust. No safety nets with public funds should be provided to them. They don't deserve any. You are fighters and winners. You are the role model of millions (especially the hiccup brigade!). So fight it out! Make us proud of you. No one loves a cry baby!
uday

Jab We Did Not Meet

About one and a half years back I lost faith in a lot of my close people. Their judgement, their sense of what is good or bad, even their basic intelligence took a beating as far as I was concerned. What had happened, exactly?
Without exception, all of them had recommended a film called Jab We Met, showering epithets like 'good fun', 'great entertainment', 'heart warming', ( India Today had also called it heart-warming, I remember) 'touching', etc. etc and etc....
Since I was a big follower of the songs, especially Mohit Chauhan's soulful 'Tum se hi', Shreya Ghosal's sexily sung 'Ye ishq hai' and the peppy, 'Mauja mauja, I thought what the heck, let's give it a go! We rented a DVD and settled down one afternoon to be 'entertained'. 15 minutes into the film and I couldn't believe the muck that was unfolding on the screen. It was so bad, so plain dumb ....it was unbelievable!
I slipped into a prolonged depression. No, it was not about the film. ( It was highly forgettable and I had quickly forgotten it). It was about the people who inhabit my inner circle. How could they endure and what is worse, endorse such garbage to others? I cannot think of any film in the history of Indian cinema that was so bad and yet managed to make good at the box office! On that count it is truly one of a kind!
Why do we do this? Why are we giving money to people who give us shit? How will they ever know that they deliver shit if we continue to que up to buy their stuff? To quote Confucious ,"If we give good to bad what will we give to good?"
Today, in Aug 2009 I feel vindicated and happy because Imtiaz Ali has come clean in an interview( listing the goof-ups in a box) published in the T2, the Telegraph supplement, of 29th. July. He says, "Yes, I find a lot of defects when I watch the film now.." Oh yeah! And when pray, will you see the defects in your current flick, 'Love Aaj Kal' ? KUCH YEARS BAAD?
uday

The Colour of Money

I am no fan of John Abraham. Why should I be? His work, with the exception of No Smoking- where he was surprisingly good clearly because of the vision of the director Anurag Kashyap-, is slipshod. Kareena Kapoor described him as expressionless, when asked by Karan Johar on a talkshow. And she was bang on correct!

But I found nothing drastically wrong with the guy ( He is an actor who cannot act. But that's no crime in India....) untill now, when he has jumped onto the bandwagon of endorsing fairness products.

Girls take note - this is your macho hunk, the breed that rides 1000cc motorbikes from Pune to Leh and back in 72 hrs flat! He thinks he is a shade too dark and that's bad....oh so bad! I thought he hangs around with a gorgeous girl who takes pride in her dark skin, and rightly so. Have you learned nothing from her, John?

I know he is doing it only for the money. The real John Abraham doesn't believe in all that muck. But then most of the brainless creatures who hero-worship him (precisely because they are brainless ofcourse!) wouldn't know the difference. If they did, the idea of celebrity endorsements wouldn't work. It is all about making us believe that Amir drinks only Coke and Shah Rukh drinks only Pepsi, is it not? People do believe their idols and that is what makes them a threat, or a blessing..., to sane and civilized society.

Shame on you Garnier, Nivea, Fair & Lovely and the antedeluvian others who are making us pay for our dark skins. And shame on you John Abraham for licking their dark shoes.

Roberto !!!!

These 2 photographs of Mr. Robert Vadra, alternatively and universally known as 'Priyanka Gandhi's husband', were published in 2 separate newspapers, on the same day, last week. What's brewing? Are we, the hapless people of this so-called largest democracy in the world, being prepared for another Gandhi, ...oops Vadra, road show? I guess not, because this person comes across as a nice, gentle and unassuming individual. So far he has kept himself away from public glare, either by design or by chance.

Bengal Blues

This, believe it or not, is a govt. emplyoee guarding an important, impressive and popular historical monument in Kolkata, the Princep ghat. Without a uniform, one leg non- chalantly hoisted on the chair he was a picture of unchallanged and complete supremacy! His total disregard of the fact that I was taking his photograph shows that he has faith in his dadas in the party or govt. or both.
This is very typical of India in general, but Bengal in particular. In Bengal, most so called 4th class staff, usually guards, sweepers, peons etc. act and behave as if they own the building where they work! The Director of Nandan, the film centre, may not believe that he owns the place but the guards at the gate certainly do!

The guy in the picture became extremely vigilant when he saw us, decent blokes, strolling among the grand coloumns. We were after all intruders in his private domain! The sooner we left the better. We did not fail to notice however, that the place was over run with lumpen elements. They were huddled in every corner, either having some contraband stuff, or involved in some crude form of gambling.

We have lost our beautiful river-front to the gamblers, pick-pockets, muggers and drug-peddlers and addicts. We have lost 2 of our large lakes to similar activities. We have lost all the beautiful and secluded places of our city to anti-socials. Our apathy, their gain.

God of All Things

I have often been asked this question, as I am sure most of you have been at some point in your life, -
Do you believe in God?
Of course I do. I believe in God just as I believe in good literature, good music, good cinema or any good work of art. I believe in literature. I believe in God. If you believe in God it becomes easy to explain away a lot of things. Let’s say that you’ve been a kind, considerate and generally nice human being all your life and yet when your child is born, he is born with a brain disorder. If you don’t believe in God what do you do? With eyes glazing over you look for explanations and find none. You are mad at the injustice of it all. If you believe in God, it’s a piece of cake; put all the blame at His door! He must have a very good reason, you tell yourself, His mind works in mysterious ways and it is not for you, a mere mortal with bad breadth and bad belly, to take His measure. It just might be that you are not a decent human being at all. It’s all in your mind, and you do not deserve a good turn. Who knows? And, just for the record, there are millions of decent human beings like you in God’s kitty and if one or two of them get a raw bargain what’s the big deal? God’s mind works in mysterious ways. God is the biggest and the most efficient life-jacket invented by man. God keeps you afloat no matter what the calamity. What would we do without Him? Men would go mad. How would you explain away the tsunamis, the earthquakes, the hurricanes, the famines and the epidemics that kill millions? How would you explain the stampedes at the temples that kill children? How would you explain the world wars, the holocaust, and the killing fields of PolPot? How would you explain Idi Amin, Hitler, and Karadzic? Or the gun-slingers who have occupied the white building in Wasington DC? If you believe in God you have the luxury of looking after yourself and your family and leave the rest to His whim. If you don’t believe in God you have to bear the burdens of this world because there are no shoulders (read God’s) in sight, to shift them to. So it is always smart to believe in God. You can be at peace with yourself. No guilt conscience for any wrong that you may have committed because it was God’s hand at work and you were a mere instrument. So who wouldn’t believe in God? Who wouldn’t make the most of such convenience? He is the ready-reckoner you need at all times and in all places. He is the Swiss Army Knife you must carry to all places and at all times. If your marriage is falling apart, blame it on God. If you find a new soul mate give the credit to God. What would we do without Him? How would we search for the black cat in the coal- celler? So I believe in God! I believe in literature, I believe in feel-good stories, I believe in 'God'.

NB: The picture above is the result of a random search in Google images! But I do remember, when I was in school about 35 years back many pages of The Old Testament did feature a patriachal figure with flowing beard levitating in space and I was left wondering if God doesn't age why does he look old!